Sunday, June 14, 2009

Broken Heart

As I am writing this, I am crying. I have been through this before with my oldest son and now it is my daughter. You see, she has just had her heart broken. She was dating a very nice, respectful young man for almost two years until last night at 10 pm. I got a call from him and I barely could understand him but I made out the name of my daughter. I assumed he was trying to call her but he was asking me to check on her. I went upstairs to find my daughter crying her heart out. He had just broken up with her on the phone. He was away for a week at the beach for Senior Week and just returned. She was excited she would see him today but instead she learned he doesn't want to be her boyfriend anymore. I am torn because they are young and he is going off to college and she is a senior in high school so I know these things happen. But he was different (I thought). He wrote her songs, poems and letters of love all the time. He brought her roses all the time (even the day he was leaving for the beach). He was always telling her that he couldn't wait till they married some day and would casually talk about their future. I would hold my breath when I heard these conversations because I know from experience this is not how things usually work out. She is heartbroken. I find myself lost here. I know how to care for a sick, lonely, abandoned animal but I can't fix my own daughters broken heart. I had a similar thing happen to my son when he was 20 (now 24) and all we did was cry together. He got over it and he survived but you never get over not being able to take the pain away from your own child. I would gladly take on all the pain so they never had to feel the hurt but this is something I can't do. You see, my daughter is one of the most caring, loving people you could meet. One of her passions is animals. She stopped eating meat when she was 10. She has a "old" soul that is way beyond her years. Yesterday she demanded I stop the car and she got out to help a turtle across the road because he was dangerously close to getting hit. I was yelling for her to hurry because I didn't want her to get hit by a car. These are things she does all the time. Little things to help animals. She is a lot like me in a lot of ways but much, much better. I know in my heart we all must feel some pain, sorrow and adversity to grow and become stronger but she has had more than her share recently. I always said that my oldest son is my challenge. My daughter is my rock...she has stood by me and helped me through hard times and my youngest son is my comedian. He can make me laugh whenever I am down. These are the hardest things about being a mother. I want to fix everything for my kids and I can't. I can only be there and hold their hands and love them. I am hoping that is enough.

4 comments:

  1. oh no... i'm so sorry to hear. the pain of a broken heart is like no other. only time will help heal. when one door closes another door opens. they are so young and have so many years ahead. i do knowin life there will always be painful times and this is what makes this thing we call life so hard at times. we can always have happy times to look foward to but in these moments of despair it's hard to see ... i do know that you are an excellent Mother. the only thing you can do is be there for her and i know you, that is a given! i wish i could take her pain too. she is such a good girl with a heart that is as big big can be. i hope that things will be ok. i will pray very hard!
    p.s. i have some words to post about your great pictures and stories, but now is not the right moment.

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  2. The worst part is loving someone and them not loving you back. I want so bad for her not to feel that.

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  3. Prayer going up that the hurt is short lived. And, maybe, it's a small comfort for her to know that he called you so you'd be there for her. That's caring, too, even if it's not the romantic love she feels.

    To hear the news over the phone is rough. My second boyfriend did it that way after over two years together and the delivery, as much as the message, stung. Now, years later, I chalk it up to the akwardness of youth, but at the time, it make the hurt worse to think he didn't care enough to tell me to my face.

    Give Hannah a hug for me! And, hang in there, Mom!
    Lisa

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  4. Lisa,
    Thank you so much for the kind words. She is still at the "I don't want to talk about it" stage and everything in the world reminds her of him which makes it hard to do exactly what she wants to do---just stop missing him. I was an awkward teenager and was so glad to be out of those years (unlike most) but somehow I feel I am reliving them again. Funny how life is. I know in my heart everything happens for a reason and she will too someday.

    Thanks and I am going to go hug her right now!
    Monica

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